I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize