My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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