A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
And then my night got REAL pukey
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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