Quick, to the slutcave!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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