Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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