I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
