I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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