Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I need to calm my uterus...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
