we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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