im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
