Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
