She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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