i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
