Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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