ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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