i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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