Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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