I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
