Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
