I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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