It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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