I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
