dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I am available for nakedness
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
