I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Go christen that room with your naked body.
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