i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
