he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
This couple is walking their pig around campus
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
