So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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