Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
