'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
