Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You did what with his pubic hair?
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