Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
