I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
