Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
