Sponge bath it is.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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