Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
