That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Randomize
