I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This baby is an asshole
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize