i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
