Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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