ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize