Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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