i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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