Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Randomize
