..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
