My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
we're so committed to being not committed
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