i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
