so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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