everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
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