Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Green mimosas i think yes
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
