then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
They took my balls.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
