Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
