We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I need a burrito and a hug.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
