Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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