Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
