I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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