you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
