her vagine was all disorganized.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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