I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
