but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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