he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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