If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize