so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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