well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
