Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
