have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I AM VODKA MAN
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
