he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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