stop calling my apartment porn island.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
