Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
