this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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