I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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