Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
