I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
