Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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