he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize