just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize