I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
