Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Are my feet made of real feet?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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