Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
