Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
