She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
