And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There's always time for handjobs
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
third nipple confirmed
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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