Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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