look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
