Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
