Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize